Feedback? Or more Exploration?
Part 2 of 3
Feedback intention rests on three assumptions:
Last time we explored the 1st assumption: You and the recipient’s expectations were aligned. And we looked at ensuring your communication enables alignment of expectations (which is useful feedback for you).
Your feedback intention rests on three assumptions:
You and the feedback recipient’s expectations were aligned.
They don’t know they were “off.”
They don’t know what they need to do to remedy the situation – and you do.
What if they do?
So now you are clear: you understood their expectations and were assured their expectations aligned with yours, and still, the results are not on track. Is it time for feedback?
“I want to help them be better! It’s my job to help them improve!”
Agreed. Again your intention – to help them - rests on the remaining assumptions:
They don’t know they were “off.”
They don’t know what they need to do to remedy the situation – and you do.
What if they do?
Pause
Remember a time when you screwed up and you knew it, and you were working on a remedy - and then your boss gave you feedback?
Or that time when the boss began directing you into the correct action, which you had already begun?
Or worse, when the boss said, in frustration “Oh, let me do it!” – taking your work back?
(An aside: As the boss, do you really want MORE work?)
How'd you feel?
How might you have felt if your boss showed they had full confidence in your expertise, had enabled you to maintain accountability, and believed you fully capable of creating the solution?
“I noticed. I’m curious”?
How might you have felt if your boss showed they had full confidence in your expertise, had enabled you to maintain accountability, and believed you fully capable of creating the solution?
Exploring to understand status.
You have agreement on the planned results: Your and your team member's expectations aligned. How is this result looking to them?
You won't know unless they tell you - so ask! You may discover they are three steps ahead of you! And, even still, you'll want to continue your exploration. . .
Exploring to maintain their accountability – and give you assurance
Open-ended questions such as “How do you plan to address this?” provides you with the insight to their thinking and allows you to maintain the role of support. In the process, you may perceive gaps in their thinking where more open questions will help you expand their thinking to address the concerns.
This exploration into how your team member thinks changes the purpose of interaction from feedback and direction to mutual learning. It shifts from correcting someone to learning if and where communication or clarity wasn’t optimal. That supports you in your leadership journey, in setting, communicating and aligning expectations.
Next time, we’ll go to the real feedback. They missed the mark. They don’t realize it. They don’t know how to get back on track. . .