Feedback
(Part ‘3 of 3)
“Giving honest feedback can feel uncomfortable”
We’ve been exploring what starts as intention to provide feedback and becomes discovery of learning.
We’ve explored the assumptions that come with the intention to give feedback:
That the feedback-giver and receiver are clear and aligned with their expectations
The receiver doesn’t know that something went wrong
The receiver doesn’t know how to fix it
We started by exploring that first assumption - when a team member accepted accountability for something and didn’t deliver as you intended: What you thought was a performance concern turned out to be a gap between your and their expectations. (that was part 1)
In part 2 we examined when the team member knows what went wrong, and is on the way to remedying the situation.
In both cases feedback can do more damage than good.
This time we look at the team member who missed the mark: You are both clear on the expectations and understand them to be aligned: And they don’t realize they missed the mark and therefore aren’t considering how to fix what they don’t perceive as broken. Feedback is now in order.
This may raise the thoughts: “I don’t want to hurt them” or “I’m too nice” or perhaps “I’m not tough enough.”
Giving honest feedback can feel uncomfortable.
Where Is your Focus?
If these thoughts surface for you, where is your focus —on their growth, or your discomfort?
Avoidance Isn’t Kindness
While it may be tempting, possibly even feel like compassion, to hold back, to soften what you say or to wait, hoping things will “go away” or improve on their own, avoiding giving feedback diminishes possibilities for someone’s growth. They are left with assumptions (everything must be fine), which can lead to more missed objectives. . . not a good cycle to set in motion.
“...feedback...offered from a position of care becomes an act of belief - in their potential”
What is your intent with the feedback?
Offered from a position of care, it can become an act of belief in their capabilities and potential and might be the conversation that helps them take their next step.
It’s not about being “nice” or “tough.” It’s about being in the service of someone else’s growth. That’s part of the role of a Leader.
Coming Full Circle
When the leader approaches missed performance first with curiosity and with an honest belief in the team member’s potential it serves far more than the objectives. It helps to grow the individual, the team, the organization.
Join our Leader of Impact program to discover how to gain accountability from your team members, and provide intentional feedback that grows potential.